Category Archives: Self- improvement

Arguing

Arguing – what’s it good for? Arguments are rarely “won.” When you think you won an argument, what did you win? The “loser” at least learned something, right? But what did you get? Debating practice, ego satisfaction, and diminished brain power.

Arguing Diminishes Brain Power?

At times things need to be debated, but most of the time, it just isn’t productive. You may want to argue the point, but what do you get from a useless debate, and more importantly, what do you lose? I say you lose effective brain power.

There is at least one thing we can probably agree on. That is that a person listening to arguments can learn something from both sides. Now what about the participants? When your opponent makes a really good point, do you say, “Hey, you’re right!” and learn something, or do you more often just look for a better argument?

You see, arguing too much gets you in the habit of looking for arguments more than for truth. You get deeper into a rut the more you defend a position, because any hint of opposing evidence is pushed away as a threat to your “victory” or correctness. Ii being in a rut and ignoring the truth doesn’t sound like it’s good for brain power, it’s because it isn’t.

Brain Power From Listening

Say the moon is closer, and if I say the sun is, one of us has to be right. On the other hand, if you say nurture is more important, and I say nature is, we’re both sort of right. That’s because the first argument has clearly defined terms. This isn’t common in most arguments (and what’s the point of arguing with someone who thinks the sun is closer?).

The second argument has to do with values, experiences, and poorly defined terms. We’ve seen different things in life, and we could spend a lifetime arguing the definition of “important.” Alternately, I could shut up and listen. In this case my mind becomes more powerful with the addition of your ideas and knowledge. Listening is the better way.

How do you break the habit of arguing? Start by purposely asking for people’s opinions, and listen without saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don’t offer one contrary idea. If you do this enough, you’ll be surprised at how much you learn. You may also be surprised by how difficult this simple technique can be, but it works. Tell me I’m wrong, and I may just listen to what you say without arguing.

100% Attitude

Your attitude will determine a lot, we’ve all heard the glass half full or glass half empty way off looking at things, both are the same thing, but are vastly different as well. You have the ability to transform your life and reach new heights of success and fulfillment. Whether at this moment in time your attitude is positive, negative or somewhere in the middle you can take control of your life and set yourself free! Everyone has potential, the unfortunate thing is that most people go through life and never realize or take advantage of this!

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20 Tips For A Great Night’s Sleep

Getting a good night’s sleep helps us to be happier, more productive people, so here’s some tips to help you get a good night’s sleep:

1. Avoid drinking tea or coffee late at night

2. Stop smoking – nicotine is a stimulant and so can make it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep

3. Go to bed at the same time each night so that you set a routine

4. Only use the bed for sleeping and sex

5. Use dimmers on your light switches, and dim the lights in the hours before you go to bed to mimic the change from daylight to night time

6. Avoid taking exercise in the evening – exercise early in the day to promote restful sleep

7. Try using affirmations, such as: “I let go of the day, and enjoy restful, peaceful sleep” repeated several times while you prepare for sleep

8. If you can’t get to sleep after a while, get up keeping the lights low and do something boring until you feel sleepy

9. Alcohol may help you get to sleep, but you are more likely to wake during the night feeling thirsty and needing to go to the bathroom

10. Try relaxed breathing: breathe slowly and deeply concentrating on your abdomen rather than your chest

11. Get your allergies checked out, particularly if you wake craving particular food in the middle of the night

12. Avoid paying bills and similar jobs just before sleep

13. Try a herbal tea – chamomile, passion flower, lavender flowers or valerian are good, or take a herbal supplement such as scullcap or valerian

14. Put the essential oils lavender and clary sage on your pillow and inhale their soothing vapors as you sleep

15. Try some flower remedies – there are lots of different types. In the Bach flower remedies you might like to try ‘vervain’ if you find it difficult to switch off from the
day; ‘holly’ if anger and resentment keep you awake; ‘white chestnut’ for persistent unwanted thoughts; ‘aspen’ if you wake because of nightmares

16. Try holding your frontal eminences (the bumps on your forehead, about half way between your eyebrows and hairline) if you are awake because of stress

17. Try taking supplements – magnesium and calcium can work well

18. If you suffer with hot flushes/flashes, try some natural support for your endocrine system at this time. I personally recommend Neways wild yam and chaste berry cream

19. Many alternative and complementary therapists have success with people with sleep problems. Find a local therapist and ask them if they have experience in this field

20. Sleep problems can be a sign of an underlying medical condition (e.g. thyroid problems or depression), so get this checked out with a suitably qualified health professional

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10 Ways To Kick The Procrastination Habit

A survey (by the University of Chicago) suggested that those who relish challenge are more likely to live up to 10 years longer than those who spend their lives inhibited by timidity.

Trying to realize our ambitions, even if we don’t always meet them, is preferable to not having the courage or motivation to take the risk. So not making any resolutions because we fear that we’ll break them is having a defeatist attitude, as we allow procrastination to become an insidious habit which stops us from leading more fulfilling lives.

The following offers 10 ways to kick the procrastination habit!

1. Personal values development.

Take the time to find out what you really want in life, what your personal values are. Do you want more time, more money, better health, greater self esteem and confidence, more fulfilling relationships, a different career, set up a business? When we procrastinate it’s often because what we are planning to do is not really aligned with what we truly want. We may be scared of our skills (or perceived lack of) or fear ridicule from others.

2. Make health and high energy levels a priority.

Without good health we are less likely to have the energy and dynamism needed to make positive changes in our lives and it’s easier (and necessary if you’re very ill) to procrastinate. So ensure that you have a nourishing diet, sleep well, exercise and meditate. Incidentally, it is thought that regular meditation helps delay the worst effects of the ageing process.

3. Visualize your life without procrastination.

See and feel the benefits in your life if you didn’t procrastinate. What could you do and achieve? Begin to act as if you’re not a procrastinator. Write down, draw, imagine your life as a film. Use affirmations to help you.

4. Banish the Gremlin.

That little voice which runs on auto in your head – that dismisses any idea that you might have. It says things like “I’m not in the mood” “I don’t have time” “I can’t do this”. Stop running on auto, replace the “should’s” “oughts” “have tos” with “want to” “desire”. You have a choice. Acknowledge your choices and banish the Gremlin. Again, using affirmations can help you replace the Gremlin with more positive alternatives.

5. Over commitment.

Saying “yes” to everything – often leaves you feeling tired and without the energy to focus on what is most important to you. This leads to procrastination as projects and tasks are dropped. Identify what is most important to you and only focus on those areas which will make the biggest difference to your life. It will enhance your focus and motivation.

6. Set personal and professional goals.

It’s hard to motivate yourself when you don’t have a good idea of what you want to accomplish. So when setting goals think about what you want to achieve in the short term and long term. Techniques for doing so include the SMART strategy. S = specific M = measurable A= Action R = Realistic T = Time based. Use goal setting software to help you in goal planning and setting.

7. Prioritize Your Goals.

Develop a plan or schedule to help you reach your goals. In doing so you will begin to identify whether some elements need to be included or enhanced or dropped completely. Also remember to be flexible, revisit your goals regularly and modify or drop if appropriate. Just because a goal is written down doesn’t mean that it is set in stone!

8. Divide and conquer.

Once you’ve prioritized your goals, divide them into smaller chunks. Sometimes we procrastinate because a project seems really large that the scale of it overwhelms us and puts us into a temporary form of paralysis – you don’t know where to start, so you don’t start at all! Approach each project – especially large ones – on a step by step basis.

9. Reward yourself.

Once you start to complete tasks, reward yourself by giving yourself something that you want. So instead of seeing a film before you complete a task, see it afterwards and make it a reward for you.

10. Just get started.

No excuses. Don’t wait until you’re “in the mood”. The mood never comes! It is a clever camouflage and a delaying tactic. What you resist persists! Start with what is easiest, so that you experience immediate success, which will give you the fuel and motivation to upgrade and take on larger projects.

Do any of the above and you’ll be well on your way to Kicking the Procrastination Habit. And if you’re procrastinating over doing any of the above :.), then remember that life is the biggest deadline of all!

3 Ways to Become a Super Person

I was driving down the freeway the other day when I saw a billboard with a picture of Christopher Reeve on it. The caption simply read, “Super man.” People might have remembered him for his timeless portrayal of Superman. But they will never forget his tireless crusade on behalf of disabled everywhere. The tragic horse-riding accident that left him paralyzed also gave him wings to soar above his physical limitations. That’s not to say that it wasn’t difficult for him. He even contemplated suicide at one point. So it made me think, what characteristics did he have that made him so strong?

Courage. Most of us shy away from a challenge. Maybe we don’t like confrontation, or maybe we just want to take the path of least resistance. But there comes a time when we, individually, must face our deepest fears. It could be accepting a job that moves you half way across the country. Or walking out on a relationship that should have ended ten years ago. Whatever is keeping you from enjoying your life needs to be examined, evaluated, and executed. No one’s going to do it for you. Be brave.

Optimism. Ever hear the old glass half full/half empty analogy? Well, it’s true. You have a 50/50 chance of being positive or negative. Which side do you find yourself on most of the time? Negative thinking can be a very hard habit to break. But the good thing is, it is easily remedied. How? Speak positively. Act positively. Replace negative self-talk with uplifting messages that you tape to your mirror and day planner. And before you know it, you will think positively. Action precedes attitude. A good attitude is contagious, so surround your self with people who are upbeat and encouraging.

Self-determination. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? A person without a goal is like a bus without a driver. Don’t let limitations, either real or perceived, keep you from your objective. And don’t listen to the nay Sayers, even if at times you think they must be right. If something is important to you, stick with it. You will be amazed at what you can do.

There is a bit of a superhero in all of us. Sometimes, it takes an unexpected event to bring that hero out. And sometimes, we can help someone else see that hero in themselves.

3 Steps To Manifestation The Personal Development Way

Do you know how powerful your thoughts really are? Are you fully aware that these thoughts, all 50,000 per day, are singularly the most powerful influences on everything that happens to you in your life and are the reason you have attracted the people you know, the house you live in and the car you drive?

In fact the sum total of everyone’s thoughts is the very thing that shapes everything that exists, everything that has existed, and everything that will ever exist. You may ask then “if this is true then shouldn’t it be possible to bring into existence anything we desire?”

Well the short simple answer is YES!

It is through the power of deliberate thought that we can create. While thought alone does have the power to bring tangible (cars, houses, boats) and intangible (peace, harmony and joy) things into existence often times this is not enough! Intention, or directed thinking and believing, is enough to create powerful enough thoughts to manifest anything we want but you must also add two other ingredients.

Firstly, your thoughts must be backed by emotion. The more powerful the emotion – the stronger the thought. It is essential to create within you the same feelings that you will have when you actually achieve your desire. You actually do this all the time only in the opposite direction. For example, you think of what you are afraid may happen and all of a sudden you feel frightened, tense and may even start to exhibit some physiological symptoms such as sweating or shaking or just get the shivers. Begin to reverse this method of thinking. Think only of what you do want and conjure up the feelings associated with that. How will it feel to meet and marry that perfect person? How will it feel behind the wheel of that new Mercedes or in the kitchen of that new home?

The second key ingredient of the three is action! It is necessary to be prepared to take some action. This is a key point that many personal development gurus leave out! The action that you need to take will not be strenuous or a toil, it will be enjoyable and feel right to you.

Each of us here on the planet plays their own special role in the complete operation of the Universe. We are all One, interconnected and interdependent. Your desires will almost always come through some form of action and through connection to other people.

Your thoughts do have the power to completely change your life and circumstances. When thoughts are backed by emotion they become an unstoppable force that will carry you to wherever you want to go in life. But you must be willing to take the steps towards your desires when these steps are presented to you. For example thinking and believing you will meet your soul mate will bring you vast opportunities for meeting him/her but you never will if you sit at home all day and do not venture outside! You may find that you begin to get asked to go to places more often or get invited to a place you have never been before. You may even accidentally meet old friends or develop new friendships. This is the Universe setting you on a path to your desires. Take that invitation. Even if it is something you have no desire to do or somewhere you do not want to go, you should accept the invitation. Who knows who you may meet or where you may end up!

So remember, ingredient 1 – thoughts have power. Ingredient 2 – thoughts backed by strong emotion and belief can change the very Universe and create ANYTHING you want. And the lastly ingredient 3 – action is the last key ingredient to bringing about your desires and living the life of your dreams. Now get out there and start to CREATE!